passing by

and so I decide to finally jot down a few words,
I realise that it's the second month of the year
where did all that time go?
won't be chasing minutes though...
just grateful that I am still breathing,
still here to savour the sun,
feel the breeze waft over my skin...
passing through

the day before

drifting
with sand between my toes
reminds me of good times...
while floating,
bobbing along on this dreamy cloudlessness
takes me back, for sure..
throttling forward,
maybe in between the pockets of waterholes
there is a message...
hidden.

festive blues

i stood near your grave the other day
it felt empty
your name is fading on the cross
we had no words to say
because the pain is still so loud in our hearts

i stood in your room
it felt cold
i couldn't imagine you in it
we had no words to say
because the pain is still so loud in our hearts

i carry you with me
as we near our favourite family time of the year
it will be hard, i can already see it
we will have no words to say
about your obvious physical absence amongst us
but we will hold on to the fact that your spirit will be around us...

while i wasn't looking

while i wasn't looking
my heart finally caught up with my head...
left clutching at the feeling
last time, i checked it was there
but when i dug yesterday
there was a bottomless hole
where you used to be...

while i wasn't looking
the wound finally healed...
the air, the salt, the water
finally mended it...
because when i felt for it yesterday
there was no more pain
where it used to be...

something dark by lemn sissay

spent my saturday evening (well, a little bit of it)
in a dark theatre in Newtown, Johannesburg.
i had read a passing review of Lemn Sissay's Something Dark
and i just had to go and see it.
true enough, it was gripping, sad and left me wondering about family.

wondering what it would have been like to grow up without family
no one to call you on your birthday
being a ward of the state
finding out your real name at the age of 18
discovering you're a product of rape at the age of 22
finding out that your father (for whom you probably have the most questions) is dead
imagine...

thanks to him though, i now have many thoughts running through my head
thoughts i can hopefully turn into prose
or poetry
....

crack the wall

right now
i wish i was a fly on a wall
on the sunny side of this building
catching a tan
or whatever it is flies do on walls
i'd sit and listen
pick up dirty bits
and hope no one swats me dead
i'd move with the sun
as the day progresses
the fly life..
aah...

death is a very tricky business

it arrives unannounced...
robs you of any possibilities
with the deceased.
conversations that you were planning on having with them
are forever suspended... left with you to finish on your own...
hoping that by some stroke of luck or God or the big beyond
that souls who have passed have ears and eyes everywhere...
today i take a moment to mourn the passing of a family treasure
one i'd never bothered to open up as i mistakenly assumed
he'd always be around...