while i wasn't looking

while i wasn't looking
my heart finally caught up with my head...
left clutching at the feeling
last time, i checked it was there
but when i dug yesterday
there was a bottomless hole
where you used to be...

while i wasn't looking
the wound finally healed...
the air, the salt, the water
finally mended it...
because when i felt for it yesterday
there was no more pain
where it used to be...

something dark by lemn sissay

spent my saturday evening (well, a little bit of it)
in a dark theatre in Newtown, Johannesburg.
i had read a passing review of Lemn Sissay's Something Dark
and i just had to go and see it.
true enough, it was gripping, sad and left me wondering about family.

wondering what it would have been like to grow up without family
no one to call you on your birthday
being a ward of the state
finding out your real name at the age of 18
discovering you're a product of rape at the age of 22
finding out that your father (for whom you probably have the most questions) is dead
imagine...

thanks to him though, i now have many thoughts running through my head
thoughts i can hopefully turn into prose
or poetry
....