Wednesday, July 20, 2011

some poetry i wrote a while back

forgot all about these...


Our fathers our heroes

To you he's no more than a pair of hands getting the job done
He comes home to sit at the head of our table
Long live to the sons of soil who give meaning to fatherhood everyday.
The pittance you call a salary determines how many of my dreams will come true
To me he's a fountain of advice, the voice of wisdom in this wide sea of uncertainty.
He comforts with his soothing baritone
While to you the only thing he's good for is Yes Ma'am No Sir
If it hadn't been for him I wouldn't be a girl
He's manhood decided my sex
To you he's just a Black dot on your white canvas,
To me he is wisdom personified
Hear me speak of my father

Scratch my soul
 
Look for me in the sentences, between the words
Of every newspaper article or news clip
I felt my essence as they were mutilating my beautiful body,
Stretching my oven of hope
A passage only the one I love is supposed to possess
Why, my brother, so much anger against your own
Look me straight in the eye so you can see the damage your raging loins are making you do
My soul weeps for my robbed innocence, violence in pursuit of my soul
Antiretrovirals, emergency pills - precautions only after
My bones and skin still ache where they groped
Skirt soiled with your useless seed
What a shame.
Incestuous invasions by father on daughter
Mama where were you
Did I not cry loud enough?
Give me a drug of forgetfulness, of forgiveness
Oh, Jehovah help their empty souls
My heart safely tucked beneath my ribcage,
Far out of their violent reach
They can only scratch the surface of my soul
But they'll never own it

Love deal

Nothing beats the discovery of love in tree houses.
With birds chirping all around, loud enough to muffle the sounds
that we shouldn’t be making in the first place.
We imagine ourselves in that other city,
In another world another time where no one knows who we are and
where we’ve been
Avenues lined with palm trees,
We walk hand in hand
Far from a life punctuated with uncertainty.
Nothing beats the feeling of stolen moments
Whispers in the dark, secrets sworn
Happy in the knowledge that we’re each other’s One.
With the prospect of marriage looming happily in our horizons
Mirages of a life we’ve been dreaming of for so long.
Well, that’s how we hope it is going to be.
He never escapes my imagination and I his.
He is presence and I am reality.

Forgotten motherhood 

Weren’t you the one supposed to give birth to me
Didn’t God choose you as my passage into this world?
Then, why do I use bricks as pillows?
Why do I look for treasures in other people’s trash?
Weren’t you the one whose breasts were supposed to give me sustenance?
I woke up to discover there’s no such thing as mother
Do I hold you at ransom for your abandonment?
Do I curse the gods for choosing you for me?
No motherhood to provide livelihood
Grandchildren don’t even know you
Daughters can’t even acknowledge you

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

personal time

so there i was... venturing... hoping for some free, personal time...

where does that land me? besides, a newly-discovered propensity for things i have never bother to explore,  i end up having way more questions in my head than i was hoping for...

this phase shouldn't be so disorienting though or should it?

wondering the streets, looking for something i don't know... leaves me wanting to extend my allocated time..

i want to be comfortable with this space... i need to be alright with the state my head is in... be out of control... let the universe take me by the hand and lead me where my heart has never dared to be...

make every day a personal day...







Monday, July 18, 2011

randomness

so i set out to venture... no i didn't set out... rather i find myself in a rather interesting, how can i say, illusion...

often we don't understand what we need until we bump into it...

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

guess what

It was the nostalgic flavours of the first bite that made her close her yes. She had found herself a gloomy cumilous in a peach dress, barefooted on the farm's wet red soil. It was the one memory that weighed on her mind. She felt the trickle down her cheek. Then another. She lowered her head as the emotion flooded her face. She opened her eyes to see her toes buried in the crimson mud that seemed to come from somewhere between her legs. She could almost feel the pain, again. She saw the flash, the thunder startled her. She looked up and realized she was was eating an apple in the rain. She smiled...

She stretched her arm to offer the apple to him. While looking into his eyes, waiting to see if he would accept it. Be willing to share it with her. He reached over and covered her hand with both his and took the apple from her...

At any other time, he wouldn't have noticed her. This stranger across the room. But it was her infectious laughter. The way she threw her head back in the midst of mirth. He couldn't help but notice her. Found himself drawn to her.

Today, yet under a different kind of cloud. She looks at him and wipes the drops of rain from his face. He wonders. If she knows that she is the apple of his eye... Still

say it now!

so there i was
gun on my head
had to think quick
and take my mind off the piss
dripping down my right leg
unsavoury liquid dripping down my nose
into my mouth
really, there i was
trying to decide
what to do
what to say
and i figured
fuck it
i am going to let it go this time...

Monday, June 27, 2011

dancing

dancing
swaying my heavy body to the hypnotic beat
takes me to a far away land
reminds me of a time
when i dared to dream
dared to remember the cause
the plan
the goal
moving
to the sound of music in my head
the endless song
playing in my mind's ear
i wondered if,
you heard it
i am hoping that,
you'll like it
that it'll steal you
give you a peek into another world
another time
where
the plan
the goal
all intertwine
and give birth
to a beautiful melody
of time with me and you

Friday, June 10, 2011

birthing you

oh there was a time
when i was afraid
when i had reservations
about the harm i'd do to you.
what did i know?
what do i know about preparing a soul for the world?
but here you are
my beautiful flower...
i wouldn't have done it any other way
other than what we are doing now.
the more i learn about you,
the more i discover me.
sure, it's not all rosy and pink fluff
but who wants that?
i relish the drama
the disappointment
the rush of joy when i get it all right sometimes
all the emotion
the anticipation
reminds me that i am alive
that you are still breathing.
sharing my body with you for 38 weeks, is definitely
something i would do all over again...